Friday, January 2, 2009

my FRIST post of 2009.

I guess all of us would have a chance to write something personal, or fall into the trap of writing something that is non food experiences related post. And today (or the day when i wrote this, btw is on the 2nd of Jan 2009, I might post this later... cause i still have a backlog of postings... ) I had fallen into this trap. A huge struggle for me, as I do not really enjoy sharing some parts of me. But then again it's a NEW year, I should have enough quota for silliness.

At last (for me, it was a long last) that i managed to win a monthly contest and got to set the frist theme of this year. It seemed no big deal to most, but was to me. My selected theme was "The Pursuit of Happiness". I really would like to put this on the top of the to-do list of 2009. Too often, pursuit of my happiness came 2nd to alot of other things. This year, no matter what happened, I am determined to shed less tears and be happier.

A very good fren (God knows how we managed to keep this horrible friendship for this long a period of time. I totally put it on her understanding towards an unforuntately-refused-to-grow-up-and-in-exact-fact-not-eligible-to-continue-to-buy-kids-meal-adult-who-still-buys-them-for-the-toys ME) went backpacking alone in India (as i am writing this entry) and other ulu places in 2008. I spoke to several mutual frens about her travels, and most of us either wondered or marvelled at her guts. I, for one, would not go travelling to places alone. I asked myself, Why? And I came up with excuses like "I did it before when I was younger" and "I prefer company, someone to bounce ideas off, grumble and complain to" and the best excuse is "I am not as healthy as before." And like I had labelled them, they are truly excuses. Baby Step might it be, I am ready for my solo trip, it won't be a backpacking trip to some really out-of-the-world-i-won't-be-able-to-communicate-to-ppl type of places, but it will be a trip I am going on my own.

My mentor (I claimed that he is so, because he had taught me alot with patience and lots of kindness n a HUGE chunk of understanding)told me, always start a letter with positive things and then go into the negative parts (at least that's what I think he told me... or not...).

My regret for the 2008 is losing friends. Might it be a fren who had bonded over a cup of tea a few years ago, a fren who moved overseas n yet choose not met up with me when she came back, or a fren who found new love and no longer have a need for me. For them I would like to say friends come and friends go, but in actual fact each of them have an irreplaceable position in my heart. Though I might have let them go physically, my emotional attachment is still strong.

A bit long winded I think I am. But for the year of 2009, I want to be happier, and be going on my solo trip to somewhere (hope it's not some ulu countries) n let my friends go in peace.

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